Life inside an oven

I feel like I've become really lax lately about blogging, but to be honest, my whole life has become rather drab since the recent "global warming-esque" heat wave struck NYC. I have no energy to do anything but sleep. I can't write. I can't eat. I can't shop. I can't run... (okay, I take it back...the heat hasn't prevented me from accomplishing at least two of the above mentioned activities..I'm sure you can guess…)

But seriously, I'm no wimp when it comes to heat. I'm from Texas for Pete's sake!!! But these 102 degree days in NYC are getting a little ridiculous!

I wasn't sure what it was about the heat here in NYC that made it so much worse than the Texas heat until one of the guests I greeted summed it up perfectly. He described Manhattan as an oven, and I'm going to go ahead and add that we are all like a bunch of turkeys baking down beneath a skyscraper-dotted sky.

So since I was beginning to feel a little helpless, I decided to pay a visit to my good friend GOOGLE to get some tips for surviving the summer heat...I found a pretty long list of suggestions but decided to highlight only a few and give my opinion on each.

1)Do your best to stay out of the sun and avoid strenuous activity during the sun's peak hours of 11AM and 4PM. Plan your workout or other physically demanding activities for the day's coolest hours between 4AM and 7AM.

No, you haven't lost your mind. Whoever wrote this definitely said to workout between 4 AND 7 AM!!!!! IS THIS PERSON CRAZY? WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD WORKOUT THAT EARLY?

Moving on...

2)Drink plenty of water even if you don't feel thirsty. Your body needs water to keep cool.

Sounds like a great idea. I would absolutely LOVE to drink a lot of water...IFFF NYC would KINDLY PROVIDE A BATHROOM!!!!!!!

3)Eat small, frequent meals. Avoid high-protein foods. Put that Atkins diet on hold until the temperature drops.

Okay, this one doesn't sound too bad. And since we're avoiding protein...a Magnolia cupcake should suffice. I'll take two please? : ))

4)Head to a local swimming pool or beach to cool off. During heat emergencies, New York City pools and beaches are open late and often offer free or reduced admission.

Once again touching on the bathroom complaint, if you don't have it, don't suggest it. A pool in NYC?? I haven't seen one.

5)Cool off at a fire hydrant, using only City-approved fire hydrant spray caps available free of charge at local firehouses. Illegally opening a fire hydrant is wasteful and dangerous - one illegally opened hydrant wastes up to 1,000 gallons of water per minute.


A FIRE HYDRANT?? You've got to be kidding. I'm gettting a scary mental picture...Not gonna happen.


6)Monitor signs of heat exhaustion or heat stroke. Contact 911 immediately if medical help is required.

Hmm...Does inability to breathe, a hot temper (no pun intended), and the desire to curl up in a ball in DIE sound like symptoms of heat exhaustion? If so, I'm going to have to take advantage of 911's services.

I'm going to stop there. All of these sound like crazy ideas. So for now, I'll just continue spending my afternoons immobile on my bed next to the air conditioner.

Until next time!